The Sadness I Feel


I was walking around this town i am trapped in and it has a ridiculous amount of churches. my main man Randy calls it Christiantown, and he ain’t wrong about that. when he first said it to me i thought about it and having been here way too damn long, he nailed what i had just gotten soo comfortable with.

I had that in mind when i was passing by churches that you would run into if you walked by faith and not by sight(convenient !) the problem is, your faith would never get you past the gates ! i noticed that one had a front gate with a lock on it, another was sealed up like a military fortress. i checked a door i was passing by to see if it was open or not . . it wasn’t. i started to think about the mission of the church and why the good Lord had set them up in the first place. i walked past this church and its stained glass windows and thought of the Petra song Rose Coloured Stained Glass Windows :

Another sleepy Sunday, safe within the walls
Outside a dying world in desperation calls
But no-one hears the cries, or knows what they’re about
The doors are locked within, or is it from, without…

Looking through rose colored stained glass windows
Never allowing the world to come in
Seeing no evil and feeling no pain
Making the light as it comes from within, so dim…

It sure seems the light of the world is only available when the faithful have their agenda in order. the church is such a broken home of the Spirit and i have seen what the broken pieces look like. when i was in church, there was a part of the bulletin that was all about social issues like abortion, gay rights and religious liberty that you could study up on and be prepared to give an answer for the hope you carried. i always loved that stuff as it made my mind ask questions and debate the various points in the moral context. what i see now is an institution soo involved in politics it has lost the stated mission : preach the gospel and make disciples. when did it become about a political agenda where the people are just statistics ?

The bride is holding the hands of the moneychangers as the demographic roll called up yonder has a party allegiance. and the walls are crowded with pop culture leftovers instead of real communication. the walls of Jericho are falling on the inside of us. it sure seems like the dark ages have found the roost to hatch from. the ghost of God is all round us when we don’t see the dying and helpless except when it becomes a born again photo op. the pro-life crowd only seems to know the value of the unborn, but not the value of the trying to live !

I think Jesus would be kicking ass if he could see the carnage the dollar is reaping when we hold our hearts over the political mob roar. they seem to forget that the power elites in his day were making sure the empire came first and the troublemakers got a cross to die on. we weep within the walls, but do we weep outside them ? it sure seems like the Bride has become one with damnations prostitution ring.

The whore is the political monster.

Babylon has claimed her Bride. and i watch the hope that is in the eye of which tears do flow that know to reach a soul is to touch a soul is all but lost..

As i went past the catholic church with the lovely stained glass windows it had a special area with a statue of mary and the nice tended garden grounds around and i walked up to the front of it yelling out “How is it that this is what god has in mind. everything sealed for your protection when who need the most help could never be able to get it ! i see all the offerings presented here, the flowers and collages and such and yet i see nothing to reflect any true touch of Spirit..for what is it we take, and what is it we hold dear ? lock your doors and lock up your hearts, you want to know God you have to be vulnerable, for where is that blood of the beating that knows him ? i do not know you !”

I walked away not knowing if anyone could have the ears to hear, but i led by conviction and felt what trying to forgive must have been like..let the vengeance out instead. the abomination is led by the empty suit and that is the church. the spiritual death is in the family, and i know apostasy is the only truth.

I will still reach my hands out to obstinate ones.

I pray for those to break out of the blessed walls . .

the Spirit is on the other side.

December 9th/2018.


A Dimensional Being Looking Through The Lense Of Material And Immaterial Realms To Reach Our Spiritual Journey In Evolution.

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William Scott Mc Fadyen

A Dimensional Being Looking Through The Lense Of Material And Immaterial Realms To Reach Our Spiritual Journey In Evolution.